Life’s Contrasts

Life throws many shapes and colours in the air for us to catch and pursue, if we choose too.

Similar to the quote from Forest Gump:

‘Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.’

Some people are happy with their lot and other people are keen to push through and to take themselves to the maximum.

Over the last few decades or so there has been a major increase in the law of attraction and attracting to you what you desire. There are so many interpretations of this that it can get quite confusing. I’m not going to repeat them all right now. However my personal story is this. (You know me, I like to get RAW with you) after all if I can’t do that then how can I possibly expect you to do the same when you speak to me on a 1:1 

A little story…

When my ex husband and I went our separate ways, there was a deep sense of panic inside me. Even searching for happiness and my crone wisdom was a tiresome task. I gave up and I laid for days in bed. This was grief, loss, hurt, sadness and raw, messy, dirty pain, waiting to be released. I felt it in my core, in fact I felt the toxicity in every part of my body. I wanted to die.

One day someone very close and dear to me walked into my room and said:

‘Get up’

I was resistant

‘Get up NOW! I’m taking you for a drive’

So with even more resistance and swamped by tears I dragged on some clothes that where lying in a heap on my bedroom floor and I took his hand as he escorted me down the stairs, out into the dazzling light of day and into the front seat of his car. I felt warped, rung out and extremely disconnected from everything around me. No words could describe my true feelings at that time, however the one thing I was feeling was a deeper connection to my source energy, to god, to the universe, to what ever you want to call it. It was there, present within me, somewhere in me.

I was always a child who asked questions, I drove my mother crazy with my constant ‘why’s’ . It felt like the only way I would ever get to know anything about what I was feeling inside of me. I was a sensitive soul. I would feel so deeply and would often wonder if anyone else out there felt this way too.

Did you?

Do you Still?

I do…

I digress…..

Story Continued…

We began our journey out of town, the car was silent. In my head I revisited the boxed up memories. I can only think that my expression was like one of a victorian china doll, broken from a child’s christmas boredom.

We continued our journey in silence up into the Yorkshire moors, I wasn’t afraid, I felt complacent. Then we stopped in the middle of nowhere. The sun shone brightly on the barren land and everything was beige and golden, but the temperature cold. The time of year was edging out of spring and into summer, my sore eyes hidden behind dark glasses afraid of seeing too much light. We walked, again in silence. I knew where we were going by this point and as we walked the sound of the long grasses brushed our trousers. It was the only sound I could hear for a while and when we reached our destination everything stopped, The sounds of the grasses fell into silence.

On the edge of moor high on a hill there’s a large cluster of rocks that jut out on to a road beneath. When the suns out it hits the rocks in such a way it creates a site of beauty. It’s breath taking.

As we walked closer to the rock, looking over the edge, he took my hand.

‘ If you really want to kill yourself you can do it right now. Is that what you really want? ‘

He said.

For one split moment I felt it was the only answer as I looked to the steep fall beneath me. That moment saved my life and I’m forever grateful for it. Standing on the rock face I was clearly able to see what I had and deep within I knew that the temporary pain would lead to a greater happiness and freedom. Which it did and it has.

What changed…..

Soon after this I had a dream about Wayne Dyer. I was never into his teaching but I decided to look him up. I read his words and listened to his YouTubes. I realise he was my guide to Abraham Hicks. I listen to Abraham Daily and have done for eighteen months.

When we give ourselves permission to be who we are. When we follow the source within us our path opens. We begin to accept the contrast of life knowing that this is all part of living a human existence.

Finding your better feeling place and know that things are always working out for you becomes part of daily living.

If this post feels familiar to you and you would like some further support, why not consider a consultation with me. Click HERE  for further details.

‘ The greatest gift you can give yourself

is freedom from what others think ‘……Abraham Hicks